Sunday, September 26, 2010

The tale of the broken toe

Originally posted February 20, 2008

Awww what a better way to say farewell to a good friend than to throw up in her sink and break a bone. Yes this is how I spent my friend Sara’s last night in California. It started out harmless enough, but ended with my head in a toilet and my toes bandaged up.

When it comes to drinking, I have pretty much learned what works for me and what my limit is. Therefore last Saturday night I stuck with my usual, which I pretty much nursed most of the evening. However, one of Sara’s co-workers brought some whiskey and about 5 of us toasted Sara and Jake on their new endeavor. OH what a mistake that was! I had never had whiskey before and now I know why! Within 20-30 minutes I started to feel sick. I was able to make it to her bathroom twice, but the third time I wasn’t so lucky. The next thing I know I am standing in the kitchen throwing up in the sink. It is a true friend who will hold your hair and stroke your back while you vomit in their kitchen sink.

Needless to say at this point I started to really notice my toe was hurting, but I was so consumed with my sickness that I really thought I had just stubbed it in one of my mad dashes to the bathroom. The vomiting stopped long enough for Layla and Sara to get me downstairs and into Layla’s car. I managed to make it home without getting sick again, which I am sure made Layla very happy. However, once I walked into my house I had to run to the bathroom. At this point my toe was really hurting me. But again I was too consumed with my vomiting to really notice the extent of my pain.

Once again another showing of true friendship as Layla stroked my back and made sure I was safe and sound before leaving. Once morning came I had already prayed to the Porcelain God a few more times, and it was then that I really noticed just how much pain I was really in. I took off my sock and was greeted by a swollen, purple foot. I finally came to the realization that if I couldn’t even keep water down and my foot looked like it belonged to Barney the dinosaur, then I should probably go to the doctor.

I checked into Urgent Care at 9:20 a.m. and took a seat… and then I sat… and sat… and sat... and sat. Finally after 3 hours and numerous trips to the bathroom, I was called in to see the doctor. I was quickly assessed and given a shot to stop my vomiting. An x-ray revealed I had not only fractured my little toe, but because I was unaware I had broken it and wore my shoes, the broken bone was twisted to the side. Now as most people know, there really isn’t much that can be done for a broken toe. So at 1:45 p.m., 4 1/2 hours after arriving at Urgent Care, they sent me home with my toes bandaged together and a special shoe.

As if this story isn’t bad enough… I don’t even think I was drunk! So I can’t even blame it on drunken stupidity - just bad alcohol! To top everything off, I have a bruise on my forehead from hitting it on the faucet while puking in Sara’s sink!

So the moral of my story is... Oh hell I don’t know!! All I do know is whiskey is not my friend and we will not be seeing each other ever again!

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